Attachment

Lately, I have been thinking about attachment, or as it is more commonly referred to in our culture, addiction. I just finished reading an excellent book entitled Addiction and Grace, by Gerald May, which examines the issue from a Christian perspective. I am currently reading The Places That Scare You, by Pema Chodron, which comes at it from a Buddhist point of view. The two books are very similar, though the authors' vocabularies are markedly different.

However, in matters of particularly great importance, I, like Anakin Skywalker, have been known to consult Master Yoda. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9ZqTRbzLWw. Yoda teaches that attachment is a path to the dark side. He went on to say that we must train ourselves to let go of everything we fear to lose. I have read remarkably similar passages in both of the aforementioned books.

Sticking with Star Wars for a moment, it seems to me that Anakin's fatal flaw was fear. He feared losing his mother, which he did. Then he feared losing his wife. He had not learned Yoda's lesson about attachment. He was addicted to relationships, and he could not abide the thought of losing them. As Yoda predicted, Anakin's fear led to anger, which led to hate, which led to immense suffering. To avoid losing the persons to whom he had an unhealthy attachment, Anakin sought to increase his power and control. To achieve such unnatural power, he gave himself over to the dark side. The tragedy is completed by the fact that this act of attempting to seize power is what drives Padme away from Anakin.

I can relate to Anakin. There have been people in my life to whom I have allowed myself to become attached. The thought of losing them is suffocating. Because of the fear of loss, I have attempted to hold onto the person, to maintain a measure of control over them. And it is this which drives the person away.

I am attempting to train myself to let go of all that I fear to lose. As a mentor once told me, the essence of the spiritual life is learning to let go. On this, Buddhist monks, Christian mystics, and Master Yoda seem to agree.